My Blog

Mom was diagnosed with cancer on August 15, 2007 - the Feast of the Assumption of Mary our Heavenly Mother. I cried out to Mary that night and begged her to watch over me. I knew I had lost a human piece of my mom that day. I had to let go of my need for her to lift me up from my sufferings as she had done my whole life and I had to help lift her.

Where would my strength come from? It came in a simple "thank you". In my anxiety and fear, God asked me to thank him for this "gift" to our family. The words fumbled out of my mouth early that morning of her big test at UVA - "thank you Lord for the gift of my Mom's cancer". I was following Mom's lead the day she was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer as she said - "Lord I thank you for this cross and know you will bring good out of it".

In the thanksgiving, God gave me the strength to endure my hardest suffering - the loss of my best friend, my mom, my strength, my soul mate, my spiritual guide, my wisdom, my mentor, my coach and my forever inspiration.

The only thing that matters in the end is love - eternal love - the love that lasts forever and the love that will reunite all of us in heaven one day. This blog is my story of eternal love. My Mom is my inspiration as I write my thoughts, joys and sorrows and share with others the only thing that matters.



Monday, May 25, 2009

Mom's One Year Anniversary

Tomorrow, May 26, 2009 is the one year anniversary of my mom's new life with Christ. It went by so fast and we all made it. It feels like an accomplishment - one that I thought I could never face when I heard her cancer diagnosis. Amazing how we face our biggest fears on this earth and that is when you grow the most.

I have often thought about time since mom passed and what it means. How God is above it and beyond it yet we live it as each second ticks by. It is all gift. Mom's love is as real today as it was before she died and I think is even stronger. Time did not stop but enveloped the love of another soul who gave her life to Christ and for her family and left her presence. Below I share my thoughts of her love a year out:



Love's Forever Presence


I see your love still
I feel it all around
It is not lost or dead
It is strong, big, wide and full
It is brighter.

The limits are gone, the boundaries cut
It reaches beyond space and time
and is there for each one of us to touch - always.
It is the phone call from Dad, the laugh of a brother or sister,
the birth of twin grandchildren that you adore from heaven,
and the conviction in our hearts to follow your lead.

The warmth of the sun speaks of your presence
the noise of the water sends your soothing calm.
The words of a song tell me to rejoice you are Home with God
and the yellow finch bird is a gift
and constant reminder of your love.

Your love did not die Mom.
It is forever, eternal and complete.
I see it in each person you touched on this earth.
You left your mark
and death did not conquer.

You are Love's Forever Presence.